Act of Impartiality

“Commissioner Gordon, the Joker is on the rampage again”

“Where’s the BatPhone?”

Dialling the famous Bat number Commissioner Gordon waited studiously...

“BatCave, Alfred speaking”

"Alfred we need Batman, the Joker is on the loose again”

"I’m sorry sir; Batman is learning to be a Life-Coach!”

Finding a Coach or Personal Development Consultant is like trying to find a good car mechanic. With over 16,000 reported coaches (including life, executive and business coaches) worldwide, trying to find one that will suit your needs can be a bit of a headache.

The ICF (International Coach Federation www.coachfederation.org.uk) boasts 650 coaches in the UK and 7000 members in 30 countries, accounting for 43.75% of the market, an impressive number indeed. But numbers aren’t everything. Your local Yellow Pages will boast a large percentage of available car mechanics but which ones are any good?

One of the advantages of a body like the ICF over an advert in the Yellow pages is that the members will have had to have undergone a minimum set of requirements in order to gain membership. (Of course we all know the Yellow Pages isn’t a membership directory). While this may provide a very good source for finding qualified coaches, how do we know that the people we end up contacting are going to be right for us?

This article aims to provide some basic insights into what you might need in order to find the right person for your personal development needs.

Looking for a Life Coach? Visit our Life Coach website.

What is a Life-coach?

Today Life-coaching has replaced the Personal Development Consultant, both in business and at home. In business they may be referred to as a Business Coach or Executive Coach, with the bias on business practices and the achievement of specific goals and skills in order to satisfy a work requirement. Life-Coaching is topical on an array of life issues from Health, Relationships and Personal Growth to Career and Finances. The differences lie in both the contextual setting and the array of areas that each coach will deal with.

A Life-coach is someone who offers a service in which to provide impartial guidance and feedback from an outside vantage point in areas of your life for which you wish a change. Coaching is an interactive process between individuals that helps to move people more efficiently and effectively to satisfying results. A Life-coach should have sets of skills or a tool-box of techniques with which to help you work out what it is you want and help to map out a plan of action with you. A Coach is trained to listen and observe and help elicit solutions and strategies from you. In NLP one of the presuppositions is that ‘You have all the resources you need’ therefore a coaches job is to draw out those resources and work with your natural creativity in finding solutions to the problems you and she have helped to identify. While the coach will help to provide feedback you are responsible for the carry out of the actions and steps in which to produce the results you desire.

The first step is to understand why you wish to see a Life-coach. Some people seek a Life-coach because they have become dissatisfied with areas of their life. Most commonly it is to do with their work and/or relationships. They generally do not know what to do next or how to go about it. Perhaps they are in a relationship that has been unsatisfying or wish to be in a new relationship and find it difficult and do not know what it is they want; similarly with a job. Most people are just confused as to what they want but know that they wish a change. Sometimes a big change! Whatever the reason, a Life-coaches role is to help the person unravel themselves from the confusion and help the person re-identify with what is really important for them in their lives and how to achieve it.

Life-coach or Therapist?

A Life-coach differs from a traditional Therapist in that a Therapist will generally work with past issues and psychological problems such as Depression, Bi-polar Disorder, Chronic Fatigue (M.E.), Stress and other Mental Health issues. Though this is a general distinction it is useful in knowing whom to go to. Some Therapists also act as Life-coaches and offer their services into business too. A Life-coach works with where you are now to where you wish to be, your present state to your desired state. During the course of your sessions, issues may arise from the past that may require a resolution or a change in order to help you progress with your goals. Some Life-coaches will have the necessary skills to work with you on these issues or recommend you to see someone who has experience in working with them. It is very important to know whether the Life-coach is experienced in dealing with issues that may come up or whether they have a list of resources for recommendation, such as The British Confederation of Psychotherapists ( www.bcp.org.uk ) or British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy ( www.bacp.co.uk). Ultimately a Life-coach is there to be an impartial guide in mobilising your resources, helping you to create a plan of action with continuous support and motivation in which to achieve your goals.

What can I expect?

Coaching can take many forms; you can expect to receive a number of different ways in which a coach will work with you. The most common method is one-to-one where the coach will work directly with you either at their location, your house or a preferred area like a café or hotel lounge. Telephone coaching can also form part of the relationship or coaching by email. Some coaches will offer a combination of all three, depending upon their fee structure, consultation and service.

While there are many books on the subject of Life-coaching that provide working examples and step-by-step processes for achieving your aspirations, working with a Life-coach will give you the ability to get direct impartial feedback on your plans, areas for change and provide continual motivation; something a book cannot do. This does not mean to say that people are unable to do it for themselves, quite the contrary self-coaching books are very popular. Having someone who is impartial to your views, values, ideas and plans can help to sort the wheat from the chaff.

Looking for a Life Coach? Visit our Life Coach website.

If you do not know whether you should seek a Life-coach it is worth finding one in your locality and having an initial conversation. It is worth remembering that you are the client and as such their salary comes in part from you. If they are unable to talk to you freely, ask them why not? Even most Solicitors and Lawyers offer an initial ½ hour free consultation. You need to know whether you will be spending your money in the right place, and if not do you wish to engage in something where you have made an initial outlay only to find it was not what you needed.

If you are happy in proceeding further most Life-coaches will offer a free 1 hour evaluation / consultative session in which they may discuss why you are here, what you hope to get out of it, how they operate and what they can do for you. The ICF recommends you interview three coaches before you decide on one and to ask them about their qualifications, experience and skills along with at least two references.

Depending upon the arrangement coaching can come in many different forms. Sometimes you may only need a few coaching sessions perhaps you have a degree of clarity on what you need but just require support from an external source and a sounding board. You do not have to sign in to a lengthy contract with a coach if you feel it is inappropriate for your needs.

If after your initial consultation with your coach you have agreed to work together, the time period can be six months or longer . It may be shorter depending upon your circumstances and what was agreed. What is important is that if you decide to call it a day, for whatever reason, make sure there are break-clauses in the contract. After all, both of you are agreeing to a contract and both of you need to know what the relationship is going to entail. The coach on one hand has a business to run and cannot afford to book in appointments that get cancelled and lose out on other potential opportunities. So it is in the interests of both parties that break-clauses are introduced into the contract. Don’t rely on a verbal contract if there are going to be a number of sessions; 6 or more. Use a verbal contract if you are only seeking a coach for a few sessions and this was agreed in your consultation. You may also wish to stop going because your life has changed for the better and you have achieved your aims ahead of schedule. If this is the case you may be liable to pay for the balance of the sessions, so either work out if you wish to continue in some other capacity or expect to pay the balance, if that was agreed in the consultation.

You may be asked to pay an upfront fee covering a percentage of the first set of sessions or for the full amount. Work out what you can afford and commit too. Remember that commitment to a coach is not just about a commitment to your life it is about knowing whether you can afford to pay for the full amount or not. A good coach should understand that you still have to live and eat and that overstretching your finances is going to help no-one. Least of all yourself!

How much will it cost?

If you have agreed to do a number of sessions, lets say 10 sessions and have telephone and email support during this time, expect to pay anywhere from £1000 to £2000. Some Life-coaches will charge more, others less. Work out whom you are most comfortable working with and your budget, if you can’t afford £1000 ask if they will do it in instalments, or if they have payment options / plans. It may be that you will only be able to do the first 5 sessions and then have to wait until you have more money available. If that is the case, you will want your coach to provide you with a longer term plan on your last coaching session, in which you can work on your own until you are ready to come back again. They may make concessions and provide limited telephone support or email for a reduced cost. See if these are an option too. It is about being flexible both on your part and that of the coaches. Don’t expect the coach to be too flexible and pander to your needs as they still have a practice to run and earn a living too, and you may find that part of the area to change is how you look after your finances or perhaps any patterns you have in creating commitments and not following up. It is the coaches’ role to help identify the limiting patterns and to know whether these are the real issues with which to make the changes. However don’t judge a book by its cover, work out during and perhaps after the consultation whether this is something that will really provide you with the change you want. The commitment is yours and it is up to you to follow through on your actions, though help is at hand from the coach in cases of crisis or lack of motivation. Work with your coach and he will work with you.

Looking for a Life Coach? Visit our Life Coach website.

Friend or more?

During this time you may find yourself creating a bond with your coach. But don’t confuse this bond with anything other than a professional person who is there to help you realise your dreams and wishes. It is important not to confuse professional excellence with a friend, and neither should the coach. This does not mean that after your coaching has finished that you could not engage in a friendship but be ware of other motives that may slip in. The coach needs to have that impartiality to help you, and not have it mixed up with secondary agendas. The relationship can become profound and meaningful as you work through issues to achieve your desires. But keep your outcomes in mind for that is what counts for now. Anything else should be considered only after your relationship as coach and client has finished. It can be difficult for both parties if the relationship has moved from coach to friend as this can create expectations on money and time that can make it difficult to extract yourself from.

Are you ready for coaching?...

The exercise below provides a simple way to find out where and how you have positioned your attention in life and your current abilities to either deal with those areas effectively or where you spend your time and energy. The purpose is to notice how balanced a life-style you currently have and in what areas you could improve upon. It is by no means an accurate chart or picture but allows a quick assessment and to see if you wish to improve other areas. After all, where you decide to place your attention becomes a matter of what is important for you in your life right now and perhaps where you wish to see yourself in the future.

Below is a chart called the wheel of life, each segment corresponds to a portion of where most people spend their activities. It is by no means comprehensive and you can change each of the categories to ones that suit you.

On the perpendicular you will see a scale from 0-10 In each of the sections mark a point that represents your level of current satisfaction and then draw a curved line across from one section to the other as in the Example 2.

Looking for a Life Coach? Visit our Life Coach website.

NLP Wheel of Life

If you now think of the inner lines as a wheel you may notice that if you were to turn it at its central axis that it would create bumpy ride. How bumpy is your ride? Does it need improvement in the other areas to make it into a smooth ride? If so, think about what some of the goals are for each section so that you can equalise the level of satisfaction in each. How might you begin to make some changes in these areas?

Life is a continual process of being in and out of balance. But the skill is in have the skills, capabilities and attention to know when and how you bring yourself back into balance more effectively than before. Coaching can help provide you with the motivation and mental skill sets to do this.

Contact Origyn for your life-coaching

Telephone 01252 861351 or use our Contact Us form and...

...create the future you desire.